• MY STORY

    CRIPPLING ANXIETY

    I woke up one day in the 2nd week of January feeling extremely anxious. It felt like I was carrying a bag of cement. I hadn’t felt anything like this in a long time. I googled “How To Deal With Crippling Anxiety” just to come to terms with what I was feeling because that’s exactly how I felt, an overbearing, overwhelming heaviness right inside my chest. Crippling anxiety, it turns out, is a thing. Crippling Anxiety. As I went through the feeds I realized there was so much information to read through, some were too weird that could have swiftly added to my anxiety. So I filtered the search by…

  • MY STORY

    FINDING MY FEMININE IDENTITY

    This journey has been long and broken but I am finally here. Not the destination, but I’m on the right track. That counts for something. I have always wondered what being a woman meant for me. Was it being a wife and a mother? Somehow gender identity has always been closely linked to the roles that are played by that particular gender so that when those roles are taken away and replaced by the question who and why there is a resounding silence. Being a millennial hasn’t made it easier. You have choices; two of them. You either become a feminist or a traditionalist (which depends on the culture you’re…

  • DEVOTIONS

    EXPECTING FROM GOD

    ———————————– Matthew 7:11 If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him! ———————————– I remember my Fridays as a child fondly. Dad would come with little packets of Bibo (a small packet of juice) and other goodies. We’d meet him at the door, jump on him, and tear apart the shopping because we knew there was something nice he’d brought us. It was not even a question, it was guaranteed. We also loved it when he went for safaris because we would get to call him…

  • DEVOTIONS

    LOOSING YOUR BIRTHRIGHT

    —————————————– Genesis 25:32 But Jacob replied, “First sell me your birthright.”. Look, Esau said, “I’m about to die! What use is the birthright to me?” —————————————– I have always felt like the story of Esau and Jacob was a little unfair and that Jacob was a little thief who did not deserve the blessings he got. But a keener look at that story last week made me realize that Esau had gotten exactly what he deserved. His birthright could not have been taken away from him, he could only have given it away. That is why it is called a birth right. All the blessings of Jacob were supposed to…

  • DEVOTIONS

    THE OTHER SIDE OF FEAR

    ————————————— Psalms 127:1 Unless the Lord builds a house, the work of the builders is wasted. Unless the Lord protects a city, guarding it with sentries will do no good. —————————————- One of those toxic habits I am learning to leave behind is living my life like it’s an emergency. This is what I mean, I have found myself being in a rush to accomplish certain things in my life that I didn’t take time to hear what God was saying. So I would look for things out of God’s will and then ask Him to bless those things or if those things go wrong I would now rush to…

  • MY STORY

    RELINQUISH RELIGION

    —————————————————— Matthew 23:2-4 The teachers of religious laws and the Pharisees are the official interpreters of the law of Moses. So practice and obey whatever they tell you, but don’t follow their example. For they don’t practice what they teach. They crush people with unbearable religious demands and never lift a finger to ease the burden.  —————————————————— Religion is the worst thing that has ever happened to mankind. I’ve been saved for the last 9 years and religion is the worst thing ever happened to me. Four years ago I experienced a severe burn out. I was just so tired. I was serving and doing a lot of good works…

  • MY STORY

    AFFECTION ADDICTION

      ————————————— ROMANS 12:3 Because of the privilege and authority God has given me, I give each of you this warning: Don’t think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves, measuring yourselves by the faith God has given us. ————————————— I was in the presence of someone who was fighting addictions. The default thing for me to do was to look at them and think  I was better than them.  But a few seconds later I realized I was no better than them. I was fighting my own addictions. That day I had just deleted my instagram and facebook apps from my phone.…

  • DEVOTIONS

    THE FATHER’S PRIDE

    Psalms 119:71 It was good for me to be afflicted so that I might learn your decrees. It’s okay if your life has been feeling uncomfortable lately. It’s okay if you  sometimes cry yourself to sleep. It’s okay if you have no idea how tomorrow will be. It’s okay if you keep stumbling. Stumbling is not falling. He says righteous man may fall seven times but He will get up again. He is teaching you how to stand. Keep walking child. Malachi 3:3 He will sit as refiner of silver, burning away the droth, He will purify the Levites, refining them like gold and silver, So that they may once again offer acceptable sacrifices…

  • DEVOTIONS

    FIX YOUR FOCUS

    I am in a season where God is constantly asking me and reminding me to fix my focus on Him and Him alone. To fix my focus on the things He has said, the things He has done and those He has promised to do because forgetting is too easy. Too easy to look at a current crisis and forget who God was to me yesterday. Too easy to forget how He miraculously provided for me. Too easy to be overwhelmed by my current crisis and forget the joy that I once had in my salvation. I have found myself forgetting all these things. I have found myself doubting. Not…