For me the story of Moses is about trusting the process. Moses pretty much knew his purpose; God would use Him to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. This must be how he ended up killing an Egyptian. He saw an Egyptian beating one of his own and maybe he thought this is it, this is my purpose anyway and he killed the Egyptian. I speculate.
He ended up being banished from Egypt. I bet he must have felt betrayed, I know I would. I can hear him protesting, “But this is what God called me to do!” He fled to Midian and years passed. In Midian he met the love of his life Zipporah and acquired a new career as a shepherd which would would later come in handy. In the forty years, he might have forgotten about his calling. Perhaps even giving it all up. I don’t know. But then one evening forty years later God showed up. He wanted him to go back and save His people because the time was now right.
It amazes me the age at which Moses began active ministry. Must have been around sixty or there about. I have heard people talk about great women and men of God who started their ministry in their advanced years and the conversation has always been centered around how much they could have done for the kingdom if only they had started earlier. Those forty years in the wilderness were not a waste of time but part of the process for Moses and sometimes we don’t see that for others.
Its funny how I always had that kind of mindset up until I found myself in almost the same situation. About three almost four years ago I suffered from a severe burn out and I had to take time off ministry. This was hard for me considering I had been serving ever since I had gotten saved. I am one of those people who find joy in giving and and serving. At that point I was in about four ministries that I was actively participating in.
But here I was, very tired and uninspired. I literally felt like I had nothing to give. The questions started coming in from my parents and my friends as to why I wasn’t serving anymore because they felt like I had quit. I realize now that I also suffered from a lot of guilt because I felt like I was doing nothing and that I was out of God’s will.
I wanted to serve but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I am happy to reflect back to the four years I was not serving and acknowledge that that was part of the process. I had time to investigate my heart and my motives. I asked God to deal with my religion and replace my religious tendencies with a personal walk with God. Somehow I believed that I needed to serve to get God’s approval. Or that if I wasn’t serving He would not bless me anymore. I wanted to serve because I love God and not as a means of coercing Him to do anything for me.
When I finally started serving again I was pussyfooted, I was afraid if I came back to ministry I would feel overwhelmed and quit again, but I have learnt that that’s okay. If I do feel overwhelmed God will lead me to the rock that is higher that I.
Are you feeling overwhelmed? Do you feel like you need to rest? That’s okay. There is nothing ungodly about rest. God Himself rested on the seventh day. It’s okay to take time off and heal. It’s okay to take time off and rest. It’s okay to take time off and have God work on your heart, work on your motives and define the vision He has placed in you.